Intimacy and Isolation. by John G. McGraw

By John G. McGraw

This interdisciplinary publication issues character, particularly intimacy, largely love, and its absence in states of aloneness, essentially loneliness. the writer argues that standard and preeminently supranormal personalities are mainly constituted by way of intimate connections. Correspondingly, he proposes that the intense scarcity of such shared inwardness is the nucleus of each form of character abnormality.

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1, pp. 17–23). Alonism refers to an individual who resides alone. An alonist may in fact be highly sociable and, accordingly, is not necessarily given to being a lonist, meaning the individual who prefers being and acting in lone fashion. Lonism pertains to a person, often titled a loner, who evades others to be by her or himself whether, for example, at work or leisure (unlike loners, solitaries circumvent others predominantly to be with themselves). Loners (lonists) can be absolute or relative types.

The loneliness experienced by dependent personalities drives them toward others and away from being alone in solitude, a condition that itself is a main means of overcoming the fear of emotional isolation. In their ethical loneliness and existential aloneliness, the excessively dependent type of persons may opt to live inauthentically in what has been termed the pseudoexistence of “the crowd” (Søren Kierkegaard), “the herd” (Friedrich Nietzsche), the anonymous “they” (Martin Heidegger), “the mass man” (José Ortega y Gasset), and similar depictions.

Avoidants are seemingly independent but not by desire, for they long to be able to count wholly on others. However, their anxiety regarding being expelled from a relationship keeps them from forming one. Hence, all ten aberrants err by excessive detachment and autonomy (independence), excessive attachment and homonomy (dependence), or both, as in the case of the borderline; although this aberrant is at base pathologically dependent. In essence, therefore, all the disturbed personalities are failures at both (primary) solitude, a type of positive autonomy, and sociality, a type of positive homonomy.

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